


Riddler's Quest to Find His Secret Admirer

by supremegreendragon



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted brutality, Body Dysphoria, But the dorks are villains, Cute little penguins, Dorks in Love, First Dates, Gift Giving, Jealousy, Love Letters, M/M, Onesided JokerxBatman, Riddles, Secret Admirer, angry Joker, hinted violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 14:30:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18100370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supremegreendragon/pseuds/supremegreendragon
Summary: Title is pretty self explanatory. Unfortunately, Eddie does something stupid while trying to find out who it is. Now he has an angry Joker after him. And why is the Penguin so willing to help him? Isn't it normally every villain for themselves?





	Riddler's Quest to Find His Secret Admirer

What was once an annoyance had become quite the puzzle for one Edward Nygma. The criminal organization was a lot smaller than one would assume, at least it was for the leaders. There was a special place underneath the city, safe from the eyes of Batman, where the villains planned their next attack. Originally built as a giant safehouse for the persecuted in the Great War, the place was purchased in the 1940’s. A set of wills later, passed down from one dying man to the next, eventually left the place abandoned and forgotten.

 

Until the crooks took it.

 

Everyone wanted the subterranean castle to themselves. Which was why instead of fighting over it, the villains chose to share sectors instead. They had their own armed men to keep out any intruder.

 

Edward, aka the Riddler, had taken a spot in the west of the underground lair. In his office, which was once used to store weapons of mass destruction, was a plain desk and chair, green curtains (although there were no real windows) and a mirror. Every day, the Riddler would find that something new had been left on his desk, usually accompanied by a letter.

 

From your secret admirer, it always said. This time was no different. Riddler had just been yelling for a good twenty minutes at Two-Face, since the ex-attorney had the audacity to suggest blind luck was better than logical reasoning in a stakeout. Well, he phrased it as letting the coin choose, but it was still a ridiculous notion, nonetheless. What a moron!

 

Edward’s sour mood was immediately lifted when he saw his new present. A silver encrusted revolver, which was the equivalent of a diamond ring to some villains. Ignoring the gift, Riddler went straight for the letter.

 

_Dear Eddie,_

_You must be swarming letters from countless other admirers. I try not to think about it, because I can be quite the beast when I am jealous. However, I do hope you will spare mine more than a passing glance. Though we seldom talk to each other in real life, know that I have always idolized you. You’re gorgeous, smart, deliciously evil, and a snazzy dresser. The only critique I have about your state of dress is how you hide your eyes behind that mask. I’ve only been lucky enough to see them once. But my heart nearly stopped when I did. Blue! How funny that someone so associated with the color green has such baby blue eyes. And yet, they’re remarkable, my dear._

_I do hope you enjoy this Smith and Wesson XRV. I had it handcrafted by someone who owes me their life. Literally._

_Your Secret Admirer_

 

 He read through three times over before putting it down. Riddler walked around his desk and opened the drawer, where all the other letters hid. He frowned. Despite what his admirer thought, he actually didn’t have that many people pinning for him. At least, not people in the underground world. Edward had, according to him, a ‘healthy’ narcissism. He was realistic when he believed himself to be irresistible. Yet despite this, common plebeians thought themselves too good for him.

 

Except this one.

 

Riddler drummed his fingers on top of the desk. Who was this mystery person? The riddle was beginning to eat at him. He prided himself on figuring things out immediately. Yet this had been going on for over a month and still he was puzzled by this perplexity.

 

It fascinated him, to say the least. That there was someone out there who could sneak to his room without him noticing and leave presents. No fingerprints. Cameras turned up nothing. His goons were, of course, no help either. Whoever this person was could certainly use stealth to their advantage.

 

And it was killing Riddler not knowing who it was. After investigating this for weeks, all Edward could do was narrow the list down. His admirer was definitely someone who led their own sector.

 

But out of all the Arkhamites, who would it be? It was most likely a man, simply because the ratio between male and female villains decreed it. He went down a mental list. The Joker was clearly out of the question (the Riddler felt himself shuddering), as the clown couldn’t possibly love anyone other than himself. It was probably not the Scarecrow either, as romancing seemed to be the last thing on Crane’s mind. And as for Bane, part of Edward doubted he could even read and write.

 

He would figure out who this mystery person was. The Riddler loved a game of wits. He decided to draw his secret admirer out in the open. He would have them admit to their actions with little to no effort on his part. And did the writer say he was easily jealous? That was good. It would make things all the simpler for the Riddler.

 

He could use that to his advantage on his next heist.

 

 

Like clockwork, the Batman arrived on the scene, his eyes narrowing underneath his cowl. The Riddler mockingly greeted him from the safety of his box, while the goons fought the Dark Knight. Batman knocked them out one by one. Riddler saw that the reporters had finally arrived with their cameras. About time!

 

Riddler set his plan to motion. He smiled seductively at the hero.

 

“Might I say, Batman. You’re looking absolutely splendid this evening. Is that a new cape you’re wearing?”

 

Batman didn’t respond, partly because he was fighting and partly because it wasn’t his style to react to flirting. But that was alright. The Riddler didn’t need his cooperation for this. He continued.

 

“I can’t believe I just now noticed how adorable you are. If you ever want to join me, I’ll make it worth your while, handsome.”

 

With a loud slam, Batman knocked the last henchman out. The Dark Knight didn’t even watch the man as he hit the floor. Instead his eyes locked onto Riddler’s intensely, fire burning brightly, ready to destroy his opponent. Yet despite his obvious bloodlust, the man still retained a calm air in his mannerisms. Batman was the only one who could act so casually in a fight.

 

With a cool voice, Batman asked, “What is your game, Nygma?”

 

The cameras were capturing every moment. Good. No doubt the Riddler’s admirer was watching right now. Their jealousy was probably flaring up already. When someone lost control of their emotions, they tend to give themselves away. Riddler smiled at the thought, but he pretended it was the Bat he was smiling at.

 

“I guess you could say that you’ve woken something within me. You have a masculine beauty that is not easily replicated. I’m sure you’d make a fine trophy lover. What do you say?”

 

Batman wasn’t dense. Riddler knew that he was aware this was flirting. He could practically hear the cogs turning inside his inferior mind. Batman thought this was a trick to help Riddler with the heist. Simpleton.

 

Before Riddler could blink, a blur flew towards him. The Batarang landed on his glass door, blinking with a red dot. Riddler didn’t have time to think himself out of this situation.

 

With a loud bang, the hero’s toy blew a hole in his safe box. Now nothing was in Batman’s way to arrest him. Batman stalked forward.

 

“You’re coming with me.”

 

Riddler had never been happier that he had another escape route. He pressed the button hidden inside his staff and the floor underneath him gave way. He prepared himself for the fall, thankful to be away from Batman’s presence. A party for all the top villains was being hosted by the Penguin and the Riddler was not going to miss it.

 

 

Penguin’s space had a large bar that he frequently used for these get togethers. As Riddler entered the room, the crowd went silent, accompanied by stares. Riddler had expected this. Instead of reacting, the genius went over toward the nearest table.

 

Poison Ivy glanced up as he joined her. She used to hate him, like how she hated most people. But that changed ever since he gave his insightful opinion on why using plucked flowers as gifts were a waste. Now she tolerated him, which was more than could be said by all the other villains, aside from Harley Quinn.

 

“Everyone saw your last heist. Are you an idiot?”

 

Riddler frowned. He didn’t take insults kindly when they revolved around his intelligence. However, since Ivy had the power to rip him in half with vines, he smartly brushed aside the comment.

 

“What are you on about, Isley?”

 

“Flirting with the Bat.”

 

“You sound worried. Did I do something wrong?”

 

Poison Ivy leaned her head in and whispered, “You could say that, since you’re on the clown’s shit list now.”

 

Riddler looked around without thought. There was no sign of the Joker yet. He turned back to the radical environmentalist.

 

“But I didn’t do anything to provoke him,” he tried not to sound nervous. None of the other Arkhamites were exactly afraid of the Joker, but they were at the very least cautious of him. The clown had a reputation of violence that unnerved even them.

 

Poison Ivy rolled her eyes and scoffed, “You mean other than say all those things to Batman? Because that’s what’s pissing him off,” she paused, “You really didn’t do it on purpose? I feel sorry for you.”

 

“Do what on purpose? I was merely trying to egg Batman on. See if I could make him lose his cool and fumble. It’s a very common practice that I’d thought I’d try.”

 

“You were just trying to get in his head?”

 

“Of course! What other reason could there have possibly been?”

 

Poison Ivy frowned, “Look. I’m only going to warn you once. You need to get out of here until the clown cools off. He thinks you were being serious. And you know how obsessed he is with getting into Batman’s pants. He’s seriously going to kill you if you don’t leave.”

 

Edward stood up at this. Just because he wasn’t a coward didn’t mean he had a death wish. Truthfully, he had been aware that Joker liked flirting with Batman. But he never thought the clown had any feelings for him. Certainly not to the point where he would kill anyone for copying his tactic.

 

Without a word, he left the room. As he made his way to the hall, a voice called out to him from behind.

 

“I wouldn’t go back to your sector just yet, Eddie. His men were sniffing around there. I think it’s been boobytrapped.”

 

Riddler turned around to face Penguin, although he had to tilt his head down to do it, as the man was quite a bit shorter than him. A cigarette rested between his lips as he seemed to chew at it nervously. It would appear that talking to Riddler made him anxious.

 

“Err! Just thought I’d give some advice.”

 

Riddler frowned, “But I can’t go back to the party. And I can’t go back to the surface yet either. Batman is still on my tail.”

 

“If you don’t mind me saying so, being in Arkham is a lot better than being dead.”

 

“Well, I do mind,” he snapped.

 

The Penguin surprised him by not snapping back. Instead Oswald flinched as if he had been slapped. Seeing such a passive response immediately made Eddie feel guilty, which was not a feeling he was accustomed to. He offered a polite smile, forced however, as time was ticking.

 

“Forgive me, Mr. Cobblepot. I’m just a bit nervous about this whole misunderstanding. The last thing I wanted was for the clown to be angry at me.”

 

The smaller man was relieved. He even stopped chewing on his cigarette holder, “Allow me to escort you to my personal safehouse. The Joker won’t know I’m your ally.”

 

Immediately Riddler’s head went into overdrive. This proposal was very out of character for Penguin, as the man was known for looking out only for himself. And helping Riddler would put him on Joker’s quote-on-quote “shit list” as well. There was no benefit Penguin had to sticking his neck out for him, which lead Riddler to only one conclusion.

 

This was a trap.

 

Joker must’ve told Penguin to bring Riddler to him. But if Riddler ran off, Penguin would alert the clown. So Riddler would have to resort to good old-fashioned manipulation. He would act like he was falling for the trap and then make his escape while he had the chance. He offered his most charming smile. Penguin stared at him in awe, as if he was looking at the finest statue in the world. Riddler was too preoccupied to question why.

 

“That would be lovely, Mr. Cobblepot. Lead the way.”

 

Snapping out of his daze, Penguin led him to a hidden room (the door had been behind a painting). Ice covered, the safehouse was like a winter wonderland, no doubt to appease the pets that resided in it. Each little penguin had some sort of accessary. One had a bowtie around its neck, another had a pink bow on its head, one had a very expensive looking monocle, and one had a top hat on. The artic birds raised their heads at the new commoners, their beady eyes curious.

 

Penguin and Riddler took a seat at a large dining area that was stationed in the center of the room. The tiny man turned to one of the penguins.

 

“Rosita, get the wine. Mortimer, the glasses,” he glanced at his remaining two pets, “You and Stanley stand there in case we need you.”

 

The way those simple fowls could bring them wine on silver trays delighted Riddler. He had almost forgotten to look for an escape route. Once he deemed at least three possible ways to leave quickly, he turned his attention back to the glasses. Penguin poured the wine himself, then handed one to Riddler. Riddler only had the courage to drink it after he saw Penguin take a sip.

 

Immediately he could tell this was expensive wine. The depth of flavor suggested it had been aged for at least 5 years. Riddler’s mouth watered at the divine finish. He glanced at his host, who had his eyes closed in bliss as he drank.

 

“You really go all out with your guest, Mr. Cobblepot.”

 

“Please. Call me, Oswald. And I’m glad you it. I only take this kind out for special occasions, as it’s my favorite. I guess you could say my pallet appreciates the finer things in life.”

 

Riddler blinked, “What’s the special occasion?”

 

“Oh!” The Penguin was caught off guard, as if he realized what he had just said, “Well…I don’t normally have guests with me. Aside from my feathered friends, that is.”

 

“And that’s enough of a special occasion for you?”

 

Penguin fiddled with his glass, uncomfortable, “I guess you could say that friends is something I lack.”

 

The Riddler decided to drop it. He knew the Penguin was lying to him, but he doubted he would get a straight answer. As they sipped in silence, Riddler looked at the door they came from. Any minute the Joker would come out and ‘surprise’ him with his ambush. He would be ready.

 

Suddenly he felt something tug on his sleeve. It was the penguin with the top hat. With its fin, it gestured at the glass in Riddler’s hand and gave a little caw. The Penguin scowled.

 

“No, Stanley. He’s not going to give you his wine. If I had known you would be an alcoholic, I would’ve never given you a sip of mine in the first place.”

 

“So, this is Stanley,” Riddler turned to the penguin with a monocle, “Then what’s this one’s name?”

 

Once again, the Penguin appeared hesitant to answer. He fumbled over his next words, “Oh well. He just. Um. I just got him two months ago, so I haven’t really thought up a name for him yet.”

 

“You seem to favor him. He has the most lavish accessory of all,” Riddler pointed out. Penguin chuckled.

 

“I guess I do spoil him a bit. Not many people can tell, but they all have their own unique personalities. They’re just like you and me, Mr. Nygma. Our newest member is more curious than the rest. I wanted to give him a smart name. Just….haven’t thought of one yet.”

 

The unnamed penguin looked at his master, as if questioning him on this statement. Riddler decided to try and break the ice to pass the time.

 

“Fancy a riddle, Oswald?”

 

This captured the man’s attention. Penguin smiled in excitement, “Of course!”

 

Riddler returned the grin. It was refreshing to see someone look forward to his puzzles for once.

 

“I can be white and shaped like a ball, yet I cannot be dribbled or bounced at all. What am I?”

 

The smaller man set down his drink and pursed his lips in thought. After a few minutes, a flash of realization crossed his features.

 

“Snow!”

 

“Correct. Haha! How about another?”

 

“Sure, Mr. Nygma.”

 

“Call me Eddie,” Riddler said it without realizing it. It seemed that, despite this being a trap, he was feeling more relaxed around the Penguin. Not many people enjoyed his puzzles, so the Riddler would relish this experience while it lasted, “What kind of bite doesn’t need teeth?”

 

It took the Penguin a little bit longer to think of the answer. But to his credit, he didn’t give up like some people would. Finally, he responded, “Frostbite.”

 

“Correct again,” Riddler didn’t mean to sound so impressed. He wasn’t one to judge a book by its cover, but he had no idea that the Penguin was this good with riddles. He liked this discovery. It was only a shame that he hadn’t bothered to riddle Penguin earlier.

 

The night went on faster than Riddler imagined it. He found that he was actually having a good time talking to the man. The Penguin actually liked his riddles, and he also gave an effort to answer them.

 

Laughing, Riddler checked his watch, noting that it had been several hours since he entered the room. Where was the Joker? Could it be….did this wasn’t a trap after all? But if so…why did Penguin help him?

 

The Penguin---er, Oswald---petted Rosita when she approached him. The penguin without a name stood right beside Riddler, eyeing his glass. Maybe he wanted a drink like Stanley did. Oswald turned his attention back on his guest.

 

“Ah, Eddie! Tonight has been such a delightful time. I knew you’d make good company.”

 

“Is that the reason you helped me?” Riddler asked.

 

The smaller man paused, “I’ve thought about inviting you for drinks before. You’re not like the other crooks. You have tastes. I know we can be a great team. Together, we can even defeat Batman, you and I. Gotham wouldn’t stand a chance against your intellect and my resources.”

 

The Riddler didn’t know why, but he felt hurt at this. During the night, he had been beginning to believe that, just maybe, the Penguin wanted his friendship with no strings attached. For once, Riddler could’ve had someone to count on.

 

But of course, it always went back to selfishness. The Penguin wanted a strong ally like him to help him take down Batman. He wasn’t really interested in him.

 

Riddler shot out of his seat so quickly that Penguin flinched.

 

“What’s wrong, Eddie?”

 

Riddler coughed. He wouldn’t tell the truth. That would just give the Penguin reason to ridicule him if he talked about hurt feelings. Fortunately, he had the perfect lie to protect his image.

 

“How dare you insinuate that I need help taking down the Bat?”

 

The Penguin gasped and his eyes widened in shock, “I am so sorry, Eddie. I truly didn’t mean to—”

 

“I should go.”

 

Riddler was already making his way to the door by the time Penguin started chasing after him.

 

“Wait, Eddie! The Joker might still be looking for you.”

 

“I can handle him myself, Oswald,” Riddler sneered the name. Why was he so hurt? These feelings were confusing him, “Thank you for the wine.”

 

 

Riddler walked along the underground streets which connected his sector to Penguin’s. He leaned his head against the wall, an artificial light flickering above him. He took in a deep breath, grateful that they managed to ventilate the area with fresh air. This lair was the best. If Batman ever found this place, everyone would be devastated.

 

Someone grabbed him from behind. It was a henchman so muscular that Bane would’ve approved. Riddler struggled, but he had no hope of overpowering him with his frail figure.

 

“Unhand me!”

 

“Shut up!” the guy spat, venomously. Riddler struggled all the way to their destination, which was the Joker’s sector. The front had been decorated with a large painting of his smiling face. The door was designed to look like one of his teeth.

 

Riddler had hoped that the past few hours had given the clown time to cool off. He was dead wrong.

 

The goon threw opened the door and yanked him inside. Riddler was afraid he was going to pluck his arm right out of its socket. At the far end of the room sat the Joker, in a chair like a throne, except the seat had balloons attached to them.

 

The Joker had been fiddling with his deck of cards when they came in. He glanced up at them with a snarl, and his expression lifted when he saw who it was. He smiled as if Riddler was an old friend who had come for a visit.

 

“Eddie! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Where have you been?”

 

Riddler finally managed to pry away from the man, but only because he let him. Now that the genius was trapped, he would need to talk his way out of this. Certainly, someone as tactful as he could reason with the Joker.

 

Start off with a joke, “I lost my way to the party.”

 

Joker stood up and began approaching him. His leer made him look like a hungry lion about to get a huge bite of meat.

 

“Well, it’s good to have you back. I wanted to tell you how much I LOVED that little heist of yours. Batsy looked so confused. It was hilarious!” here he burst out laughing. Riddler swallowed a hard lump in his throat.

 

“I’m glad. Some people thought you were mad.”

 

“Me?” Joker was now right next to him. He slung his arm over Riddler’s shoulder, and the other man could do nothing about it, “Now why would I be mad? Can you think of a reason, Eddie?”

 

It was a verbal trap. Riddler had a feeling that playing dumb would only make the situation worse.

 

“Listen, Joker. I didn’t mean anything by what I said to the Bat. It was all just a…” he searched for the right word, “Joke.”

 

Joker’s grinning face tightened. The smile nearly took up half of his face, but despite this, he did not look happy. Riddler caught the flicker of anger crossing the clown’s eyes and he knew the charade wouldn’t last long.

 

“Oh, but Eddie! Didn’t you get the memo?” he leaned in until his lips barely scrapped his ear, whispering, “I am the only one who makes the jokes here.”

 

Finally, the Riddler couldn’t take it any longer. Fear mixed with anticipation made it hard to breathe.

 

“What are you going to do to me?”

 

The rest of the henchmen, who had been watching from the background, starting fiddling with their weapons. All of them melee: bats, crowbars, tasers. There was nothing that would kill the Riddler. But it would cause him a significant amount of physical and mental trauma.

 

“Consider yourself lucky. I won’t kill you. I can’t! You’re one of the best. You keep Batsy on his toes, so that he’s mind stays sharp and he’s always ready for me. So you’ll only get a few broken bones. Maybe a deformed face that will make Harvey jealous. But nothing life-threatening.”

 

Riddler opened his mouth to plead with the clown, but no sound came out. Fear had taken away his voice. Suddenly, the door burst open, and many more armed men came to circle the ones that were just about to attack. Riddler recognized a few men as his own and he smiled in relief. Joker, in contrast, glared angrily at Eddie. No wait. He was looking past Eddie.

 

“What’s the meaning of this, Abner?”

 

The Penguin walked with umbrella in hand, accompanied by two of his strongest looking guys. Despite seeming just as afraid of the Joker as Riddler was, he managed to keep his voice authoritative.

 

“I cannot allow to go any further with your planned ‘punishment’ for the Riddler.”

 

All of Joker’s rage was now shifted onto the newcomer. The clown even moved away from the Riddler in order to approach the Penguin.

 

“And. Why. Is. That?”

 

“Because he meant nothing by what he said to the Bat. He was just trying to make me jealous.”

 

The Joker paused, “Come again?”

 

“He….I…” the Penguin glanced at Riddler, then took in a deep breath, “I have been sending him gifts of my affection. I told him in my latest letter that I was easily jealous. He took that as a challenge. The reason he flirted with Batman was to make me reveal myself….” His shoulders slumped in defeat, “So…here I am.”

 

Despite the room being packed with people, everything was quiet—you could hear a pin dropping to the floor. Riddler stared at the Penguin as if for the first time, wondering why on earth he had never considered him to be his admirer. The Riddler felt his heart warming up to the idea. The Penguin had proven to be incredibly insightful, especially since he knew the reason why Riddler had flirted on camera.

 

That kind of intelligence spoke to Riddler. Instead of just assuming Riddler was trying to get a rise out of him, the Penguin realized that it was all part of a bigger plan.

 

Then the Joker started laughing, underneath his breath at first, before his laughter took over the whole room, echoing against the walls with sinister glee. People waited patiently for the clown to calm down.

 

“How adorable! I didn’t realize you were such a love bird, Oswald. Well,” the Joker turned to Riddler smiling, “You can have your lover back. No harm will come to him,” then he was snarling again. A warning flashed through his eyes, “So long as Eddie here stays away from mine.”

 

 

Riddler still had to register what had happened. The Penguin was walking him to his sector, like a teenager after a first date. The smaller man seemed absolutely miserable. Riddler felt the need to say something.

 

“Thank you.”

 

The Penguin paused, but didn’t turn around. Riddler pressed on.

 

“Really. Thank you. He would’ve done a number on me if I hadn’t.”

 

Finally, the Penguin swiveled to face him, still not looking happy. He seemed ashamed. For what, the Riddler couldn’t fathom. He turned to his own men.

 

“Give us a minute. Will you?”

 

Penguin’s own men looked at him and he gave the signal. Soon everyone was out, except the two Arkhamites. They stood underneath the same flickering light that Riddler had been underneath earlier. Even with the faulty lighting, Riddler could see the Penguin perfectly. It was like seeing this new side of him made him appreciate all the little things. Did that suit always have that bit of lint underneath his pocket? Was his beaky nose always that cute?

 

Meanwhile, Penguin seemed just as content to stare back.

 

But then he looked away.

 

“Forgive me.”

 

“Whatever for?” the Riddler asked.

 

“For my….inappropriate behavior. I should’ve never sent you all those letters.”

 

The Riddler walked toward the smaller man, “Why not? I found them quite flattering.”

 

“Yes, but I shouldn’t have put you in that awkward situation.”

 

They were quiet for a moment. The Riddler faked a cough to try and break the silence.

 

“Why don’t we talk it over some coffee?”

 

The Penguin looked shock at first, before sadness once again took over his face.

 

“Don’t force yourself.”

 

“What are you talking about, Oswald?” Riddler was genuinely confused. Didn’t the Penguin want this? Or….did he change his mind. The Penguin shook his head.

 

“I know you’re just offering because I helped you. But I’d rather have no date than a pity date. If…it’s all the same to you, that is.”

 

He tipped his hat, just about to leave before Riddler ran in front of him, effectively blocking his path. Riddler stubbornly put his hands on his hips.

 

“What on earth gave you the notion it was going to be a pity date? I’ll have you know I want to have coffee with you. Why don’t you believe that?”

 

“Well. Because you’re intelligent and….handsome. And I’m…not. You know?”

 

It was then that the Riddler realized for the first time that the Penguin might not have confidence in how he looked. That was no good, especially for someone as intelligent as he.

 

Riddler leaned over until their faces were inches apart. Suddenly, he kissed Penguin’s cute nose, causing the smaller man to gasp in shock. When Riddler withdrew, he noted how red Oswald’s face had become.

 

“Do you consider me an idiot, Oswald?”

 

“What? No, of course not!”

 

Smirking, Riddler said, “Then when I say you’re handsome too, I can’t be wrong.”

 

The Penguin had no argument there. Riddler laughed and the Penguin joined in.

 

“Please have coffee with me, Oswald. I have all kinds of new riddles to ask you.”

 

The Penguin looked at him and smiled, “Of course, Eddie. By the way. I lied.”

 

“About what?”

 

“About my newest penguin. His name is Eddie too.”


End file.
